“Hope” is commonly used to mean a wish, it’s  strength is the strength of the person’s desire. But in the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. According to Friedrich Nietzsche “hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man” 

Relationship is the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. Hope regarding relationship can be describe as the expectation or aspiration a partner have towards their partner, it’s normal for a person in a relationship to hope for better treatment or a profound love from their loved one, but have you ever wondered what would happened when your hope becomes desperate? This stage is the first stage of desolation in a relationship, this stage “hope” already turned to expectations, meanwhile you partner is fully unaware of your expectations, in that way acting as normal as they can, but because of your aspirations and expectations you view them as not enough because they couldn’t fill out the image you drew in your head, this will eventually leads to misunderstandings, in your partners mind they ain’t wrong, but in your own view, they are imperfect because they couldn’t meet up with your expectations.

A similar scenario occurred with a friend of mine in our early teens, she had a boyfriend that was tall, handsome, dark with a chiseled Jaw and refined chin. He was everyone’s crush but my friend managed to be the lucky one, actually it might not be considered a luck because my friend was an exceptional beauty herself, they started off quiet well, slowly became everyone’s envy..

Around the ending of the first three months, it was time for our last exam, the couple became busy, but the guy was the most busy resulting to not been able to hangout with my friend, hopefully she had friends to keep her company, some times the guy will do everything in his power to make time for her, but it wasn’t like before so she began to hope for him to spend more time with her, I thought it was normal as first, which couple on earth won’t want to spend more time together?  But gradually the little time the guy makes for her wasn’t enough, the little time the guy could spare for them was spent on arguing about trivial matters. Slowly they drifted apart and the most envied couple of our year broke up bitterly because of aspiration and expectations of the girl.

Naturally it wouldn’t have resulted to this but when you start hoping or viewing someone in a way they ain’t, with time your daydreaming will cloud your judgement and it will also make you not see them for who they really are. People wouldn’t change because of your hope and aspiration, it will only make them feel you are changing them to who they are not, which is partially true, not everyone will be deeply in love to the extend of wanting to be anyone their partner wants them to be, not everyone will love up-to your expectations, you need to know when to  expect more from people and when to be contented with how they are. Accepting one for ones flaws and perfections is one of the main stronghold of a relationship. 

Your partner is already that way before you get into the relationship, if you are not happy with it there’s no point in being in a relationship with someone you couldn’t stand their personality, and if it’s a new behavior, you can slowly talked to the person about it and get to know why they changed instead of secretly or openly hoping for betterment, it will not only extend your grief, it will also cause estrangement between you and your partner, contentment is a virtue we all need to learn and cultivate in a relationship to make it stronger. 

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    Comments to: Hope & Relationship
    • April 18, 2020

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      Nice one


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