Relationship is sweet when the two parties involved pay attention to each other and the situation of the relationship. Your relationship is you and your partner’s responsibility. Whatever happens to your relationship in the long run is as a result of how committed or how nonchalant you are towards the relationship.

You must have had some very bad relationships and you keep wondering, “what went wrong, was it always my fault or I am the one who keep getting unlucky?”

Trust me, it could be your fault, it could be there are some things you are not doing right or there are still some things about you you need to fix. However, there are some things you need to critically consider and work on in your next or current  relationship so you don’t have another failed relationship. Why is your relationship not moving forward?

1. You take too many things for granted

“Babe, let’s fast and pray for better days ahead,” but before 8am, you’ve sent three wraps of eba to their early graves, buried them with one ‘orobo’ Pepsi. You can’t even pray for two minutes without dozing off or start ‘rambling in the nonsense’.

Relationship is not a battle field, we know, but you need to be spiritually ready for this journey in front of you, don’t take everything lightly.

You can’t pray, and your partner can’t pray too, wahala.

2. You keep bringing your past into your present

What is the other name for ex? Past. Your ex has nothing to do with your current partner, the same way your partner has nothing to do with your ex.

You and your partner are discussing and the next thing you say is “when XYZ and I were still together,” “if it was XYZ, he would do this, he would do that…”

Stop it! Wether your ex was too good or very bad in your previous relationship, keep them out of your present relationship. You are free to chat or talk to your ex once in a while, but stop bringing them up in your discussions too often, else you give your current partner a different idea about you and your ex.

Your ex is in the past, let them keep relaxing in that past.

3. You don’t love yourself enough

If you can’t love yourself as you should, how will you love another person?

You can’t eat good food, you can’t buy yourself nice clothes, you can’t take yourself out and spoil yourself. If you can’t manage yourself properly, how do you intend to manage another person?

You can’t even motivate yourself, how do you plan to motivate your partner?

Dear reader, love yourself first before you think of loving someone else…when you love and treat yourself right, it flows to the person you’re sharing your life with.

4. Your level of decision making is poor and you always agree to everything

“Babe, this is what I think, let’s do it this way.”

“Anything you say honey.”

It’s good to always agree, but when you keep agreeing to everything your partner says or the decisions they make, you are not contributing to the relationship.

Mutual agreement is very important, stop nodding your head to everything. Even when you know deep down you don’t agree, but for the sake of peace to reign, you keep concurring, no, don’t do that, speak your mind too.

Don’t give your partner that power to rule over you, because if the outcome of that decision turns out badly, your partner will ask, “didn’t you agree to this idea?”

You and your partner are a team, learn to brainstorm together. If they bring one, bring one, if they drop two, you drop two as well. Contribute!

5. You are not just ready

Nothing kills your relationship faster than patching things up. You know you’re not ready for a relationship, you know you’re not the type cut out for a relationship, but here you are, in a relationship. You’re just there, nothing to add, nothing to take away.

For your relationship to thrive, you need to be ready… physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, psychologically and spiritually.

Don’t just jump into a relationship because you want to have a relationship too, be ready for it!

6. Your partner is not your best friend

I will always have issue with people who can’t say their lover is their bestie, if you are one of them, I’m sorry for attacking you.

If you find yourself confiding in someone that is not in anyway related to you and you two are not in a loving relationship, you have a problem.

You are online, your bae/boo is online, you’re not chatting with your bae/boo, but you’re there telling another person “I can’t sleep, come keep my company,” tell me, is something not wrong with you?

Can I tell you something? The only person that can keep me online till late in the night is my best friend, and that’s my woman. Once she says “goodnight,” I’m done with social media for that day. Because she’s my best friend.

Stop neglecting your partner because of one bestie…90% of besties don’t wish their bestie’s relationship to last.

Once you find yourself in a loving relationship, promote your partner to the position of best friend.

7. You always bring in a third party

Any small fight like this, you have packed your things and moved to your friend’s house. You can’t resolve a problem in your relationship without involving an outsider.

Even in some marriages, some wives will have a little misunderstanding with their husbands and the next thing you see is they have moved out of the house, some to their mother’s, some to their friend’s.

If you are like this, your relationship won’t move forward. Maybe you don’t know that too many advice from outsiders kills your relationship.

I’m not saying it’s not good to seek relationship advice, but often put into practice resolving the issues between you and your partner without involving a third party. If you must talk to someone, talk to your partner. Communicate.

8. You are not in each other’s plans

You are not in his plans, he’s not in yours, you can’t make any progress.

For things to run smoothly in your relationship, each of you must have each other in mind. Your partner should always have a spot in your future plans and vise versa.

“I want to build a house in Canada, have two cars, have three kids and enjoy a happy long life,” but with who? If your relationship goal is not marriage, to spend the rest of your life with that person, my dear, that relationship will collapse, sooner or later. Your relationship must have a definition, it must have a direction. When you keep driving without a direction, you won’t get anywhere.

Remember this, your relationship is how you define it, whatever it turns out to be, it’s totally up to you and your partner.

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