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Often times, we get offended by friends whether intentionally or otherwise; an apology can only follow when we have expressed our displeasure to the person concerned. But when you find it hard to express your anger, even when the person asks repeatedly, “are you okay? “,  you say, “I’m fine” or you pretend you’re fine; thereby bottling up such anger, subsequently sulking, feeling irritated or exhibiting different kinds of negative emotions when you’re around the person; it’s called passive aggression.    

Whenever you’re not addressing an issue, you let it simmer inside of you; there’s a chance that the problem will get so much worse. And then, if your partner notices your moods and you keep bottling it all up when they ask, they may stop asking altogether. It’s a really quick way to create distance between you two. Then they give up.    

Communication is an integral part of a relationship, it’s the healthy version of showing how someone has treated you instead of indirectly reacting by being passive aggressive which hinders the positive flow of a relationship and the consequences may be long term.  

Passive aggression is immature because no matter how long you’ve been in the relationship, it shows you’re still not comfortable with sharing with your significant other your emotions. It also means you cannot be yourself. So, what’s the result of a relationship where you pretend and cannot express yourself, no matter how you’re feeling? 


WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ELIMINATE THIS BEHAVIOR

  • Being aware;
  • Identifying possible reasons for being passive aggressive; 
  • Thinking clearly before you act; 
  • Taking few minutes to calm down before reacting to things that upset you; 
  • Being optimistic; and 
  • Being honest with others and expressing your emotions in a healthy way instead of passive aggression. 

      If you get used to feeling contempt for your partner, without them knowing, you become critical, always finding faults in anything they do. You have to talk it out with them before it gets worse. Passive aggressive is common in relationships but it’s selfish and needs to be worked on. Don’t slam the door or  walk out of a conversation where you can easily express your feelings and hurts in your relationship; thereby breaking the bonds of communication and honesty. Everyone deserves that. 

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