Lucy was from a wealthy home, and like most rich kids, she was well embedded in the “ajebutter” roots. She had a very good command of English, which was one of the reasons I fell fast. She had a caring heart and supported me in any way possible. At this time, my family knew her and vice versa.
Aside from my many “crushes”, I had no experience whatsoever, concerning the ladies. Once, when Lucy saw a picture of mine, she said, “brother, you’re looking handsome”. I blushed to the roots of my hair. I was about a score and 3 years of age, and that was the first time a lady complimented me and it had that kind of effect on me. I was a virgin.
It would interest you to know that this ‘brother’ had started kissing lips. You know what happens when you’ve tasted something sweet, you just won’t be able to get enough of it. I hadn’t realised that I had already broken the covenant I made with God. I felt that since I hadn’t asked her out, I was safe. There was no way I could have heard if the Holy Spirit was giving me a warning. My thoughts were clouded.
You know, when you’ve kissed someone, you may say you won’t have sex and even take precautions to that effect; it’s just a matter of time before it happens. It’s like drinking sweet wine; you start by taking sips, because it’s sweet, you don’t realise you’ve drunk 2 glasses. Only when you start feeling tipsy, you’ll know you’ve taken too much. That was the case with me.
The day it happened, we were studying late in Lucy’s room. We couldn’t stop kissing. Lucy had some sexual experience, so it was without a doubt, that I was like a child who had been shown the room where all the sweets and candies in the world were kept. The emotions had become tempestuous, building up from the numerous times we had entertained romance.
Before we knew, it was over; the scales of sexual passion had fallen from my eyes. The gravity of what we had just done, dawned on me. I felt so bad that I left her room that night. When I got to my room, I cried myself to sleep.
The next evening was fellowship. I had spent the whole day indoors because I felt like hiding. I thought that this must have been how Adam and Eve felt after eating the forbidden fruit and hid themselves when they heard God’s voice in the garden of Eden. A huge ball of guilt was lodged within me, eating at the flesh of my mind. I couldn’t bear going to church that evening. Flashes of the scene of sexual passion continued playing in my mind every moment.
I was avoiding Lucy; I refused to pick up any of her numerous calls. I tried as much as possible not to cross paths with her. I was losing weight because I didn’t care about eating or taking care of myself. My studies was greatly affected.
I felt that this was the end of my life. I couldn’t listen to preachings of mercy in church because I felt that I had disappointed God; and that He was going to punish me. There was only one thing I could think of doing. And this, soon enough, I was going to regret. It was another mistake I made.
I know a lot of people have gone through situations like this; and you had different paths you followed to come out of this kind of shell. It would be nice to share in the comment section how you did it; for the benefit of others.
The story continues…