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Helen is in the kitchen, trying to fix herself dinner when she hears the door slam shut. She  jumped in fright and switched off the gas. Wiping her hands clean on the back of her shorts, she tiptoed back to the room. Maybe he won’t barge in today, but that’s a chance she’s not willing to take.

Wincing as the pain shot through her upper arm like an arrow in Russian roulette, she pulled up a big sweatshirt with a hoodie from her bag; the goal was to hide the marks on her face—he doesn’t like to see the marks on her body.

Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as her mind screamed in pain trying to pull on the sweatshirt. What will happen if he heard her as she screamed? What if he hit her again like last night? Like a movie on screen, last night’s episode flashed through her mind; still fresh in her memory…how he beat her till she passed out just because Jason, her friend from college called her on her cellphone. God! Please save me!

If it’s love, why does it hurt?

Eyes darting to the door, she realised it was closed.  Quickly, she scrambled for it and left it open. He doesn’t like her closing the door either. Her heart hammered in her chest like those drums she use to play in church when she was little. Only now they were beating out of rhythm. He didn’t want her playing drums anymore. He said it makes her proud. Oh God! I’m going crazy, would you help me? 

“Helen!” She jerked in fright, “he’s calling me, God what do I do?” She hurriedly wiped her eyes clean as he appeared in the doorway with a lopsided grin on his face. In a nanosecond, a deep frown replaced the grin. “Are you crying?”

He hastened over, grabbing her face by the chin. pushing the hoodie off her head, he looked her over as his mood swayed to the one she knew like the back of her hand. “Am I not treating you well? Why are you sad?”She frantically tried to explain when the blow came out of nowhere and landed square under her nose.

He let her drop on the bed and continued haranguing her about how she should be grateful to him. These biting words were no longer new to her, she was immune.

All of a sudden, like light shines in a darkened room, the wheels of her mind in motion, she rose up from the bed. “This isn’t the end, I don’t deserve this. I can get out of this.”

She felt like a Phoenix, rising out of the ashes. Seeing the her chance, she landed a blow on his groin and dashed out of the house without looking back.

 Are you in a relationship swimming in physical abuse? Do you feel like there’s no hope for you? Maybe you think you won’t survive on your own if you leave him/her; there are even scenarios where the lady is the violent one.

Unless you are like that lady who went on social media telling the world that she loves it when her man beats her and feels it’s his way of showing his love for her, you need to come out of that relationship.

 It’s common for someone who is being abused to feel that they somehow deserve it. It’s important to know that you’re never to blame. 

How To Know Your Relationship Is Abusive

  1. They check on you all the time to see where you are, what you’re doing and who you’re with.
  2. They try to control where you go and who you see, and get angry if you don’t do what they say. 
  3. They accuse you of being unfaithful or of flirting.
  4. They isolate you from family and friends, often by behaving rudely to them.
  5. They put you down, either publicly or privately, by attacking your intelligence, looks, mental health or capabilities.
  6. They constantly compare you unfavourably to others.
  7. They blame you for all the problems in your relationship, and for their violent outbursts.
  8. They say things like, ‘No one else will want you.’
  9. They yell or sulk, and deliberately break things that you value.
  10. They threaten to use violence against you, your family, friends or a pet.
  11. They push, shove, hit or grab you, or make you have sex or do things you don’t want to do.
  12. They harm you, your pets or your family members. 

You might even make excuses for them, defending them and taking the blame. You’re scared of what they’ll do when you leave them. Please reach out to someone if you’re in this category. Remember there are people who still care.

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